Will he ever return?

I hereby apologize to every reader of this blog. Here goes:

(To the tune of "The Ship That Never Returned"/"Charley on the MTA")

1. Let me tell you the story
Of a man named Romney
On a tragic and fateful day
He put a dollar in his pocket,
Brought his high-priced handlers,
Went to ride on the M(B)TA.

Romney handed in his dollar
At the Park Street Station
And got off at Downtown Cross-aing
When he got there the reporters told him,
"One more quarter."
Romney could not get off that train.

Chorus:
Did he ever return,
No he never returned
You know, it's not his "regular commute" (oh no Romney)
They don’t take Visa Platinum
for a 14-second ride,
No, the guv’nor never returned.

2. Now all night long
Romney rides through the tunnels
Saying, "What will become of me?
How can I afford to see
My wife in Belmont
Instead of dealing with the cat lady?"

Now his handlers go down
To the Park Street station
Every day at quarter past two
And through the open window
They hand Romney a canape
As the train comes rumblin' through.

Chorus

3. As his train rolled on
Through Greater Boston
Romney looked around and moaned,
"Well, I'm not a T ridah --
I’m goin’ back to Carolina
Where they made me feel right at home."

Now you citizens of Boston,
Don't you think it's a scandal
That the Guv’nor has to pay and pay
If you see him riding,
Flip the poor man a quarter,
Get poor Romney off the MTA.

Chorus:
So that he'll never return,
No he'll never return
And his fate will be unlearned
He may ride forever
on his mower in Belmont
He's the man (Who's the man)
He's the man (We can plan)
He's the man who never returned.

(Inspired -- if you can call it that -- by sco.)